


i'm not the only one

by teaboycastiel



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, its not graphic though, sekai - Freeform, slight smut warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-10-29 04:28:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17801051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaboycastiel/pseuds/teaboycastiel
Summary: so i based this story of of sam smith's i know im not the only one mvhave fun crying





	1. im not the only one

Why did he do this? It was a question he always asked himself almost every morning when he woke up. He put on his suit to go to work, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt sleeves. As usual, Jongin was by the door with his usual happy smile on his face, reaching up to adjust the collar of Sehun's suit and pulling him down for a sweet kiss. Everything about Jongin was sweet, his love, his face, the way he looked at Sehun like he was his everything even though Sehun was a piece of shit.

“Have a good day at work.” Jongin said with a small smile and watched as Sehun made his way out of the house. Sehun started the car and drove off, out of the corner of his eye he saw Jongin standing there, waving bye to him with a small smile on his face.

Why did he do this?

Sehun walked into the club, looking around for the one boy he always came here for, the one he always lied to his husband for, and for what? For that nice looking boy that had caught his eye one day after he had decided to get drinks after work? That brown haired boy that could down shots like Sehun could back in his college days and make Sehun feel alive for an hour or two? Baekhyun was pretty of course, had a nice a small and soft skin but his beauty didnt compare to Jongins'; the way Jongin felt underneath him, that smile that, in the ten years they had been together had never ceased to make his heart start beating daster, so why was he here? It was a question Sehun had asked himself so many times, every time he pinned Baekhyun against the club's bathroom wall, every time he stripped the man of his clothing and fucked into him with wild abandon, a simple “why?”.  
Jongin was always on his mind each time he did this, he was the first thing on his mind the first time this had happened, that's how it had always been. This thing between Baekhyun and him was only supposed to be a one time thing but it had trickled to...at least three times a week, it was like an addiction that he couldn't stop and it tore him apart. He loved Jongin, he wasn't tired of him, wasn't tired of waking up to that smile that could make the sun seem like a simple lamp light, wasn't tired of the warm tan skin that he would mark at anytime he wished because Jongin always made it known that he belonged to Sehun,he would never be tired of the boy that always waited for him and loved him through everything, so why was he doing something so disgusting as this?

 

Jongin was by no means stupid, he knew exactly what Sehun was doing. Every time he waved Sehun off to work Jongin would always know whether or not his other half was going to see that boy, and it destroyed him each time. It had been going on for a few months but it still destroyed him, still caused Jongin to sit on their living room floor on their Persian rug after throwing a collection of expensive dishes across the room and cry while removing the expensive Cartier ring Sehun bought him so long ago. It still caused him to down at least half a bottle of wine and scream and cry his lungs out like he was being tortured before he would get up and clean up the mess he made and go for a drive.  
Not bothering to clean up his face or fix his hair, he'd go to the local gas station and buy fuel starter along with a bottle of whiskey, trying to maintain his composure so he didnt crash the car as he drove back home. He'd throw little items of sehun's clothing and all the items they had bought together in the fire pit, douse them with fuel starter and set them on fire, nursing the bottle of whiskey to his chest. The tears would start again and he'd sit on the ground, crying heavily and trying to take deep breaths to break up the painful stabbing feeling in his chest, he knew in his heart that Sehun didn't love the boy he was cheating on Jongin with. Jongin could tell by the way Sehun still looked at him and touched him and cared for him, those things weren't of a man that didn't love him anymore, it was the touches of a man that was confused and regretful and as long as Jongin could feel and see the love that Sehun had for him, he didn't care.  
He didn't care how long the affair lasted as long as Sehun came back to him and only him each night, which is what he did. Jongin would open the front door at six o'clock dressed in Sehun's favourite colour of crimson red, his ring back on his finger, leaning against the doorway with the softest smile on his face. Sehun would walk up to him and Jongin could feel the regret and sadness radiating off of him like a perfume as he hugged Jongin tightly, trying to convey so many things but most of all, an apology. An apology that Jongin always accepted when he wrapped his arms around Sehun's broad shoulders and kissed his neck and whispered a soft, 

“Welcome home.”


	2. hurt

A plate smashed on the wall behind Sehun's head but he barely flinched; if he was honest with himself, Jongin's reaction to his cheating was a little tamer than he had expected. But the funny thing about this whole situation is that, it wasn't the cheating Jongin was all that mad about, it was that when Jongin had asked him why, Sehun didn't have a reason.

“What the fuck do you mean you don't have a reason Sehun?!”

“I mean I don't have a reason Jongin, what do you want me to say?”

The older man was looking frazzled, his perfectly kept black hair was in a disarray, his cheeks were flushed with both anger and from the wine he had a few minutes before. Jongin rolled his eyes at Sehun's response and sat down on a nearby chair when a wave of dizziness hit him.

“Anything, anything would be better than you not having a reason. He's prettier than me, he makes you feel better, you're in love with him, just...something.”

Sehun bit his bottom lip as he watched his husband rest his elbows against his knees and play with the Cartier ring that was on his wedding finger.

“I love you so much Nini...I really do, Baekhyun is...nice looking I wont lie, but he's not like you...he doesn't have anything on you but I just...I can't tell you why because I don't even know.”

Jongin's vision was blurry with unshed tears, his fingers laced together tightly as he spoke through a trembling voice.

“I was hoping that was it...that the reason you were cheating on me was because he was prettier, better, that you were in love with him but none of that is it, is it? You still treat me like a prince, the same way you did when we met all those years ago, you treat me with such care and I can feel the love in everything you do even though its been so long since you've told me you love me. You genuinely don't know why, and that makes it hurt so much more.”

The tears in Jongin's eyes finally fell and they dripped onto Sehun's cheeks; if there was one thing Sehun couldn't stand is when his baby cried and it hurt so much more knowing that he was the reason. He reached up to wipe away Jongin's tears but his wrist was caught in the other man's hand.

“Please Sehun, dont touch me, dont look at me, I just want you to leave. Leave me alone, dont call me, dont talk to me, dont text me, I don't want to see you anymore.” Jongin said with a level of finality in his voice before letting Sehun's wrist go and getting up from his chair to start cleaning up the broken dishes.

Sehun stared at the now empty chair with a blank expression before standing up slowly, his whole body felt cold as he made his way out of the house, not looking back, just trudging around in the darkness of the city, letting people bump into him. It wasn't until he ended up at the Han River and collapsed onto his knees that he finally broke; everyone knew that Sehun was never one to cry, he had the most control over his emotions but this....He had finally lost his husband, his baby, his angel, his...everything; and with that thought, he tilted his head back and let out the loudest and most anguished cry as hot tears poured down his face.

Unbeknownst to him, Jongin was in his bedroom, gripping one of Sehun's hoodie in his arms, pressing it against his face as heart wrenching sobs escaped his lips, whispering in a soft shakey voice, “Please come back.”


	3. reconcile

True to Jongin's request, Sehun didn't contact him. In fact, he went the extra mile and let his phone die and didn't charge it so he wouldn't be tempted. He hadn't seen the other man for almost a month, hadn't gone back to his house to gather his things, hand't contacted anyone, especially Baekhyun. Of course Sehun wasn't really doing anything for the past month, he was simply lying in the bed of his hotel room; his hair in disarray, a shadow of an oncoming beard on his face. Mind you, he hadn't been eating normally like he would've when he was with Jongin; it was simply enough to survive, no more. It was on a particular day that Sehun decided to charge his phone, when he did he was greeted by over fifty messages and missed phone calls all from Jongin. A lump formed in his throat as he read through each of the messages, all of them containing the same message on asking if Sehun was okay; the voicemails were the most heart breaking however, each one chipped away at his heart more than the last. All he could hear was the slight tremble in Jongin's voice, the way his breath hitched like it did when he was trying to control his emotions but had no such luck. So with some great difficulty on his part, he took a shower, shaved his face and made an attempt to smell and look good, for what reason he didnt know, Jongin and him were practically...separated at this point. He took an Uber to Jongin's house, surprised to see his Impala there and still intact nonetheless; upon entering the house, he stopped short at the sight in front of him. Jongin, his Jongin was sitting in the lap of his old best friend, Park Chanyeol. This usually wouldn't affect him because Jongin was always big on skinship but this...hurt him in a much different way; but what right did he have to be hurt? Wasn't he the one that cheated on Jongin, the perfect angel that he no longer had a claim on...maybe he should just disappear, like off of the face of the earth. Suddenly, it got very hard to breathe or swallow and that's when Jongin looked up at him with that sunshine smile on his face, a smile that Sehun didn't cause. He thought it was impossible to feel worse than he already did but he seemed to prove himself wrong and he felt himself shut down for the final time.

.

.

.

.

Jongin's month had been hectic to say the very least, he spent the first two weeks crying anytime he saw anything of Sehun's, he was a bit of an emotional wreck. It got worse when Sehun didn't answer his phone calls but why would he? He had told Sehun to leave him alone, he might've gotten another phone for all he knew; it wasn't until the third week that Chanyeol started coming over. Forcing Jongin to eat, to drink water, to basically survived and for that he was really grateful, he hadn't realized how touch-starved he had been until Chanyeol had hugged him. Which is what brought him to today, he had been discussing his situation with Sehun and going over what he should do, [ and getting some great advice mixed in with jokes because Chanyeol could never NOT be a crackhead. ] when Sehun walked in. Jongin felt his heart beat harder in his chest before tears pricked at his eyes. Sehun was so skinny...not his usually skinny either, his cheeks were sunken in, he didnt have that cocky maknae smile that was always on his face and when he looked at Jongin and Chanyeol his eyes glazed over and he got that 1000 mile stare. His heart dropped into his stomach and he scrambled out of Chanyeol's lap, making his way over to the taller male.

“Hi Sehun...”

Sehun looked down at him with the most forced smile Jongin had ever seen on his face.

“Hello Jongin.”

Jongin. Not baby bear, not Nini, not...not princess. His eyes pricked with tears once more as he looked down at his feet, only turning around when Chanyeol came up behind him to tell him he was going to leave the two of them alone. Sehun glared at Chanyeol as he passed and that made Jongin feel slightly better, at least he was still protective. He backed up and went to sit down on the chair that Chanyeol had vacated, Sehun leaned against the wall and looked down at his feet with his jaw clenched.

“So...I should go and get my stuff then shouldn't I?” Sehun asked in a quiet voice.

Jongin looked at him with wide eyes, the tears now sliding down his face as he opened his mouth to answer but no sound came out. Did Sehun really want to leave him?

Sehun looked up at there was no response and felt his heart start pounding at the sight of Jongin's tears. Completely forgetting their situation he moved forward and cupped Jongin's cheeks in his hands, wiping away his tears with his thumbs.

“Baby bear, why are you crying? Isn't this what you wanted? For us to part and go our separate ways after what I did?”

Jongin shook his head and reached up to grip Sehun's shirt in his hands, holding onto him like he was a lifeline.

“I should. I should divorce you and we should never speak to each other again but...I don't want to do that. I love you so much Sehun, I dont want to not be your husband anymore but....but I dont know how to trust you.”

Sehun's heart picked up, he shuffled closer to the other boy and slid his hands down to Jongin's shoulders.

“If you want...we can try again? I don't mean give me a chance to be a better husband I mean for us to start over. Like how I did all those years ago with the dates and flowers, a chance for you and I to...make it better. And if you aren't convinced of it then we can divorce.”

Jongin's crying subsided as he listened to the younger boy, looking up at him through his lashes.

“Have you seen Baekhyun lately?”

The question made Sehun freeze up.

“No I...I broke it off with him the day after you told me to leave. I havent seen or talked to him in over month.”

Jongin breathed a small sigh of relief at that before wiping his eyes, the skin around his eyes swelling slightly as it always did when he cried.

“Then I think...I'd like to try that.”


	4. authors note

hey whats up you guys  
HA  
i dont even like shane dawson  
but  
i wanted to let you guys know that we have one more chapter for this series before it ends. It will tie up sekai's relationship and maybe baekhyun might find someone [?] but who knows  
please check out my other works  
i'm starting both a chanhun sugar baby/daddy fic AND a sesoo cos thats a hard ship to find on this site for some reason  
thanks guys~  
stay tuned


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